Attention Inventory: Seasonal Summits, Blue Moods, Honeycomb Manifestations
A list of March's preoccupations...
Nothing succeeds without taking stock—Attention Inventory is an assemblage of 5 recent fixations, in no order and of no theme.
1. Calibration That Counts
There’s a lot to process in this Jeremy Strong interview in last week’s NYT Magazine, but it happened to cross my radar at the right moment (and in a season where I can’t quite commit to my own plot.)
Sometimes it feels impossible to maintain a dedication to your own inner fortitude; to “live like a mighty river.” I got punched in the gut reading J.S.’s response to how he makes decisions re: roles to accept or pursue:
“…There’s this wonderful book by Alma Mahler Werfel. She was with Mahler and Klimt. She wrote that she observed this ongoing tension between what she called the loving soul and the calculating soul. The calculating soul only led so far. So there’s a desire in me and maybe in others to align with only that other part of myself. But it’s not the whole truth.
You want to play in first chair and you want to play pieces that will make you grow and allow you to be fully expressed; there’s a reason to try to gravitate toward the best material. The fact is, sadly, you don’t have access to that unless you have a certain amount of power — access to what they call in the business “deal flow.” I guess actors don’t want to talk about the idea of there being a marketplace, because that does feel, as you said, gauche.
I do feel that there’s an inverse relationship between creative flourishing and whatever recalibrations you’re willing to make to fit into a market. There was a letter that Ted Hughes wrote to his son, Nicholas. He said the only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest and how much they can ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated.”
Also, nearly as important is this aside:
2. Meringue Missions
I woke up in the middle of the night and there was one thing on my mind: this honeycomb candy I used to buy at the Park Slope food co-op ca. 2012. I needed to procure it, stat.
The search began at 2am. By 2:28am I had purchased two 8-ounce bags of said confection off Etsy. The closest way I can describe it is…nougat-flavored astronaut food? A crunchy meringue cookie meets tryptophia nightmare? Edible sea sponge infused with caramel brittle? Light as a cloud, will horrifically stick in your teeth, and is absolute heaven.
(Also if you’ve never perused the handmade candies section on Etsy and might enjoy a roulette of mysterious treats, I do recommend dipping in a toe. You’ll find wonders like: hand-sculpted marzipan shaped like a potato! Edible geodes!)
3. Mirror Music
A biased plug, yet a sincere one for “Mirror Music,” the Deutsche-Grammophon solo album from Michael A. Muller, who created something so incredibly special—at once belonging to any time and so palpably present. I think about it like a soundtrack for slipping into the subconscious, or perhaps dialing more into focus. A nice description may be found here.
(Also…Michael does happen to be my partner, and as I click click click on my laptop I am hearing him in the other room vacuuming the rug. )
4. Blue Moods
Does a color ever chase you? A year or so ago I got a pair of the glove flats I wear nearly daily in a rare light blue (by rule, I wear only 3-4 colors, all neutrals; this rule has no logical reasoning other than my own preference).
In the months since, my eyes have been a magnet for this specific shade of powdery blue…a color that feels so pleasing, so gentle, so soft that it’s almost shocking. The latest target of my obsession is this dang sofa, as photographed by Billal Talright with interior direction from Colin King.
5. A Vital Summit
Quarterly, a friend and I meet for own self-hosted Summit.
The goal of The Summit to check in with the present tense versions of ourselves: to refocus where we’ve spiraled out; to set abstract goals of our own making (in hyper-specific categories); to talk ourselves in or out of dubious purchases; to come back to what we want, why we started, what we believe in; to celebrate what we’re proud of, to admit what we wish we’d done differently. Ultimately, to Summit is to be earnestly sincere in our desire to show up to life, and to do it with the ongoing presence, support, and accountability of a friend.
The rules of The Summit are: at least one night away (preferably in a hotel, preferably two nights). Dueling laptops out, Keynote presentations populated with messy screenshots everywhere. We sort, we analyze, no stone goes unturned. The Summit takes many forms—from carpeted piano bars in Palm Springs to Santa Monica rooftops to ringing sunset gongs while watching the sunset in Todos Santos (peak Summit!)
The Summit is a study in sustaining and progressing, of looking back and ahead while staying grounded in the present. It is a personal non-negotiable. I encourage you to forge your own Summit, in whatever form or expression you choose.
xo,
LP
I would love to hear more about the summit. How do you structure the days? How much is internal reflection vs. intentional discussion? I want to know everything!
This is beautiful, thank you, again, always, for turning us in new directions & towards ourselves, simultaneously… Just listening now to Mirror Music & of course realizing that this is perfect music for reflecting & journaling… A wonderful partnership, indeed! 💖